


Fall from grace (and miss the ground)

by Etnoe



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Accidental Relationship, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Inheritance, M/M, Plans For The Future
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 18:09:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5794528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etnoe/pseuds/Etnoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In another timeline, the Vongola Inheritance goes at a slower pace, but that doesn't mean it's smooth sailing. When the Tenth Generation has to take over running a Vongola base, Tsuna reaches a breaking point about his position as boss that results in a serious fight with Gokudera - and on top of that, suddenly they've got lions, tigers, and sword swallowers to deal with, oh my.</p><p>And then things between the two of them turn out to be more complicated than they looked...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. crashing down

**Author's Note:**

> The title is inspired by a line in Live's song "Run to the Water". There are spoilers throughout the series, up to about chapter 283. Constructive criticism is welcome!

Hayato Gokudera would be history.

The little boy built a new name that he could stand to call himself, rejecting his father's and taking what he could of his mother's, and swore to the wind that they'd all know it someday. He ran off the estate that had been home and went far from anything that was familiar to him, took money from the accounts his father didn't know he'd learnt to access, bought a train ticket and went looking for something to make his own, to put between himself and every unbearable bit of what lay behind him.

*

"It's starting today, Tenth. History!"  
  
Tsuna backed up with a hand clutched over his heart, and Gokudera realised he'd pretty much jumped at him. From behind the wall. Technically, this was an ambush. He'd been too excited to think!  
  
Before he could apologise, Reborn hopped onto a nearby gatepost. "Good morning, Gokudera."  
  
"Reborn-san!" he said in greeting, excitement returning full force. "When will we go make our inspection?"  
  
" _Later_!" Tsuna said.  
  
"What's happening later?" They turned to see Yamamoto, jogging up the sidewalk and waving.  
  
"The tour of Tsuna's mansion," said Reborn, jumping onto Yamamoto's shoulder, and with the little everyday ritual complete, they set off walking to Namimori High.  
  
"Wait, that's today?" Yamamoto said, looking dismayed. "I've got a make-up test after school."  
  
"So cancel it! This is important!" Gokudera said. He was lucky Reborn was using him as a ride, or Gokudera would have shaken him by the shoulders like he was an errant brat. "This is absolutely vital, and we need to make a good showing for future purposes!"  
  
"I need these marks for future purposes too, ha... I'm not concentrating enough on schoolwork lately. There always seems to be something better to do."  
  
"Exactly! So is this. Far better. The best thing all year!"  
  
"You're pumped up!" Yamamoto gave him a thump on the bicep, and Gokudera was in such a good mood he didn't give a damn. "I guess it is exciting, seeing Tsuna's inheritance."  
  
"It's weird," Tsuna said, frowning. "I mean, it's not like anything's happened to the Ninth... I don't need to inherit right now. It feels like bad luck." He ducked his head. "It _is_."  
  
"You call this an inheritance?" Reborn resolutely did not look at him. "It's hardly worthy of the term. There's a lot more coming."  
  
Gokudera stiffened. He let his glance slide to Yamamoto, and saw that he _was_ looking at Tsuna, his expression all concern. Damn it. Sometimes Gokudera wished Reborn wouldn't be so blunt - the position of boss was a huge responsibility, an outright burden at times, and the Tenth was realising that more and more.  
  
It was great to have him talking again. He'd been really quiet for weeks on end. When the Ninth had requested (Gokudera hated how orders were called 'requests') that they deal with certain yakuza groups around Japan, which had access to ring-level weapons and few morals about using them, it had taken a lot out of Tsuna. They hadn't fought that seriously since the ring scramble matches.  
  
No wonder Tsuna had been tired, was what Gokudera thought, but Yamamoto's theory was that he had been avoiding everybody. Ridiculous, because that idea came up while they were walking out of the Tenth's home, after spending the day with him and the girls. Nonetheless, after that it struck Gokudera that Tsuna always seemed small lately. Physically turned in on himself. The silences didn't seem that bad, because ... sometimes they had a very particular way of becoming comfortable, when it was just him and Gokudera, and he knew the Tenth appreciated that. But the way Tsuna was constantly hunched up and turned away from all of them - that was nothing good. Even if he didn't literally avoid them, he could seem like he was barely present.  
  
Gokudera sidled over to jostle Yamamoto so he'd stop staring - the Tenth shouldn't have to feel awkward on top of everything else. Yamamoto took the cue and slung an arm around Tsuna. "Do you believe in bad luck?" he said. "I didn't think you were superstitious. Anyway, you could look at this as a _really_ big present, instead!"  
  
"And it's definitely not bad luck!" Gokudera said. "I've never heard of a case like that. It could even be good luck to have the blessing of whoever you're inheriting from while they're alive. There's less chance of vengeful ghosts!"  
  
Tsuna started replying, then stopped as it looked like an unpleasant memory occurred to him. "That's probably true, I guess," he muttered. "Ugh, that time when that Romeo came back..."  
  
Yamamoto laughed. "Hey, kid, is Tsuna's granddad giving him a haunted house?" he asked Reborn, and then ducked Gokudera's sideswipe.  
  
"Find out when they tell you it's time to go see the place," Reborn said.  
  
A few steps more and Tsuna stopped in his tracks. "They're not calling you, Reborn?"  
  
"What, do you need a babysitter? Go on your own. You need to take care of yourself at some point, useless Tsuna."  
  
"Haha! The kid being the babysitter. Who ever heard of something like that?" Yamamoto tapped down the brim of Reborn's hat, lowering it to cover his eyes. Reborn had to reach up to right it and give him a glare.  
  
The infamous hitman was pouting. He probably couldn't help it, what with the baby face, but even Gokudera would admit it didn't look all that intimidating.  
  
It got rid of some tension, and Tsuna took a deep breath and they resumed their walk. The baseball idiot really had a talent. Gokudera didn't mind the thought the way he might have a few months ago. He had developed a reliable method too, and so he smiled.  
  
He lit a cigarette so he'd be able to fight easily if there was trouble along the way. This was pretty much the first time the Arcobaleno wouldn't guide Tsuna. The whole tenth generation had more responsibility now. Gokudera would live up to it.  
  
Once they were sitting in class, he made do with keeping his lighter in hand. He flicked the lid and daydreamed, lulled by the teacher's droning. Whenever he turned to smile at the Tenth, he was slumped over his desk. That proved it, he really was in a state of exhaustion too ... or maybe Yamamoto's obvious _brain disease_ had infected him, because that dumbass was also sleeping. He already had a make-up test!  
  
Gokudera threw paper pellets at him until he woke, and then a few more for good measure. He stopped after Yamamoto, looking intrigued, threw some back. (He was sure it was going to bruise. How could paper make you bruise?)  
  
A groan from the Tenth's direction! Gokudera nearly whipped out dynamite, but restrained himself to seeing what was going in. Tsuna was looking at his cellphone under the desk and grimacing.  
  
"Sawada-kun?" the teacher began, and Gokudera said, "The Tenth's stomach hurts! I'll take him to Shamal!" He had Tsuna across the room before he'd finished speaking. He motioned for Yamamoto to join them, and Yamamoto sleepily waved back.  
  
Gokudera didn't care anymore. He righted Tsuna, clasping his arms. "Well, let's get going! Where is it?"  
  
Tsuna stepped back, out of his grip. "Not yet! The message said they'd be ready at twelve-thirty."  
  
Gokudera stared at his watch. "It's only half-past ten!" The moment was an impossible two hours away. Ridiculous! Unbearable! The second-counter on his watch went up one figure, such a measly measure that it might as well have gone backwards. "We can go now. We don't want to be late!"  
  
He looked up for confirmation and found that Tsuna was down the hall. "Need some air," Tsuna called in a muted voice, striding towards the staircase to the roof.  
  
Gokudera looked at him and then in the direction of the exit, and then back to the stairs Tsuna had started climbing. It wouldn't hurt to be early - but if it was the roof, then...  
  
He ran up the stairs, almost fast enough to catch Tsuna up. As he barrelled through the door Gokudera noticed for the first time what the day was like. It was warm for autumn, and the day was clear with a refreshing, blustery breeze. Even nature was playing along!  
  
It was the kind of day when the Tenth would give thoughtful looks up at the good weather and go along with any suggestion on things to do, or start giving some of his own. Right now he had his head pressed against the chain link fence and his eyes on the ground, though. Tsuna was well aware of what came closer as they neared graduation. When things got like this - and they did more often than before, since the start of the year - it was Gokudera's job to remind Tsuna of the good in their circumstances.  
  
Technically, he just had to stand there.  
  
It worked most times. Tsuna didn't really talk about serious troubles, so Gokudera would go stand by him and wrestle over careful, caring, tactful words to coax out the problem until his stomach was a knot of bile, and before he'd managed to say one of them Tsuna would push off the fence, looking less tired and asking if he wanted to go.  
  
Once when Tsuna started to move off, he'd said, "Thank you", smiling and a healthy blush colouring his face. So Gokudera went each time he thought Tsuna had gone to the roof, even though he was never sure he was doing enough. Sometimes ... well, pretty often, lately, he'd add a reassuring touch to whatever it was that his presence offered, just so that the Tenth could get a fraction of an idea how badly he wanted to help. It was always all right to do so; Tsuna moved into it each time.  
  
Gokudera leaned against the fence and stood quietly for as long as he could - not long at all. "What will we do about the baseball idiot? We can't let him keep going between the family and this other crap like it makes no difference." He waved his hand at nothing in particular - rooftop, school grounds, town, earth and air.  
  
"He has to decide for himself."  
  
"But he still acts like he doesn't know what this is about!"  
  
Tsuna's fingers fidgeted in the fence links. His voice was clipped in an unusual way, every word with a snap to it. Today, Gokudera thought, was a day to lend support with the firm touch of a hand. An arm around him, maybe. "I guess there's a decision in that."  
  
"He's the Vongola Rain Guardian. He can't be allowed to treat it lightly, however much natural skill he has."  
  
"He can't be forced to be Rain Guardian, either."  
  
Gokudera blinked in surprise that force would even be necessary, and got a crazy image of Reborn holding a gun to Yamamoto's head, on Tsuna's orders. No. Of course it couldn't be anything like that. Then it was a matter of training twice as hard to make up for the exposed flank! Until they found a decent replacement, maybe, and Yamamoto realised what he'd lose by goofing around.  
  
"The Vongola will be safe," he announced, and then hastily swallowed plans of extra training. The Tenth could get so worried about that kind of thing. "There are more than enough people who could act as back-up guardians. Basil's reliable. Maybe there are more possibilities at the mansion!" He rattled the fence out of sheer need to do something. "Reborn-san didn't say anything about what to expect?"  
  
"We won't have to live in it or anything. I'm almost _surprised_."  
  
"The place is for business use, right? It's about time we take care of official meetings. We need to get used to that kind of thing." Meetings would probably be made up of them and a bunch of the old, established bosses. And then the Vongola could tell those fossils where to get off... "We should get going, Tenth! The place is outside of town, after all."  
  
"What does it matter if we're late? It's not like the people there are dangerous, like other Mafia people we'll have to meet. Just servants."  
  
Gokudera turned and frowned slowly, not recognising that mutinous tone. It didn't look like the Tenth believed what he was saying either. He looked ... scared. Angry too, but Gokudera saw first what unnerved him most.  
  
"It'll be fine..." he said, not sure what was wrong. He shuffled closer. "We just need to make a good impression! I've heard that a reputation should be built from the ground up." It had sounded stupid when he was a kid, but after being one of the lowest members of the Vongola, Gokudera knew it could get dangerous to treat low-ranking people badly. At least, he'd really wished he could make it dangerous, but he hadn't been so stupid that he'd attack the family that had taken him in. But if his feelings had tipped a little more towards vengeful than loyal...  
  
"Huh, am I supposed to make a _good_ impression? I should probably shoot the head butler or something."  
  
"Tenth!"  
  
"Well, what kind of reputation should a Mafia boss have?" Tsuna snapped.  
  
Gokudera stood closer. "What's...?" _What's wrong?_ He interrupted himself as the answer to Tsuna's question occurred to him. "Yours! The reputation that you already have ... you only need to show them who you are."  
  
"I don't even know those people."  
  
"You can't know everyone, Tenth. Look at Cavallone; he's got over six thousand people working for him." He thought over the times he'd sneaked into his father's meetings, Shamal's side commentary, and observations he'd made in the families he'd had contact with.  
  
"The thing to do is make sure that the people in the family, all the different groups, learn to take care of each other, even while you're taking care of them. That's how you make things run smoothly, so it's good for everybody." At all levels - in the casinos and the sham companies, the research labs, the _libraries_...  
  
"That's how we'll make our legacy," Gokudera said, gritting his dreams out through his teeth because it was okay to tell the Tenth. He'd get it. "We'll be so goddamn good to the Vongola they won't know what hit them. We're going to make history!"  
  
"We'll definitely be history," Tsuna muttered.  
  
The tone made Gokudera blink hard enough that his dreams cleared for a second, but then he processed the words and grinned so that his face hurt. "That's the spirit!"  
  
It wasn't, because Tsuna stared miserably over the town. Gokudera reached out, willing himself not to be tentative. Or overeager. Couldn't go around grabbing the Tenth, after all. An arm around the shoulders would be all right, though, to know that he felt as solid and warm to the Tenth as Tsuna did to him, and to watch him smile from up close.  
  
"It doesn't matter," Tsuna said loudly, jerking away from his hand. Gokudera froze and then stared in confusion. Tsuna met his gaze for a millisecond and looked down, chest expanding visibly with a deep breath. "We have to go."  
  
Gokudera swallowed to bring moisture back to his dry mouth. "Are you worried? You don't have to be. You can handle it."  
  
"I don't want to!"  
  
Tsuna hadn't said anything like that in a while - since last year, Gokudera thought, and even then around the time they started their first term. He'd gained confidence over time. "Tenth, I know you'll do fine!"  
  
"It's not _that_."  
  
Gokudera put all his sincerity in his voice. "I'm not just saying it. If you think about everything you've accomplished so far, then it's obv—"  
  
"I said it's not about that!"  
  
Furious. Gokudera remembered that voice best from the time when it rang out above flames and Belphegor's hissing-cat chuckles. He stared at Tsuna.  
  
"I've never wanted to be the boss and you don't even _know_ that! I'm stuck in this Mafia business for the rest of my life, and you'll always be ... like this, and..." He bit back words with a pained sound, but more spilled out with fresh anger. "All you ever say is, 'it's so great', and ... you... I don't _want to_! That's it!"  
  
But...  
  
There had to be arguments and examples to remind Tsuna that it wasn't true, but the memories of years went blank. Tsuna _was_ part of the Mafia. Had been since Gokudera met him. That's it.  
  
"Gokudera! I don't want anything to do with this and I never did! Do you even get that?"  
  
Tsuna turned and strode away, hands made into fists. He wrenched open the door that led downstairs and ran, the noise reverberating up to the roof.  
  
Gokudera stared at the open door in bewilderment for too long, because the clatter of quick footsteps was broken by a startled squeak of rubber on concrete, and then a yell over the sound of something banging down the stairs, too big and too fast - falling. Then silence.  
  
Gokudera nearly fell downstairs too with how fast he ran. Tsuna was three-quarters of the way down, clutching the railing and blinking away shock. "Ow-ow-ow," he said, grimacing at his right leg.  
  
Its awkward angle made Gokudera yell so loud that his voice echoed off the walls. "Tenth!"  
  
But it was only sprained at the ankle. Tsuna pulled himself up by the railing and turned his leg this way and that to find a comfortable way to put his foot down, wincing.  
  
"I'll take you to Shamal's office! I can bandage it!"  
  
"It's not that bad... I can walk."  
  
He walked more easily with help, though, and after trying a few steps allowed it. So Gokudera focused on helping and Tsuna seemed to focus on walking, and it was surreal how normal the motions were while the silence between them hissed in Gokudera's ears. They greeted Shamal when they entered his office but basically ignored each other for long minutes.  
  
"That feels better," Tsuna finally said, once the white wrap was pinned around his ankle.  
  
"Don't wiggle it!" Shamal said from the desk, having peeked over the magazine he was reading so he could watch Gokudera do the bandaging. "You'll feel it tomorrow. Not too bad, Hayato." The magazine went up again.  
  
Tsuna looked out the door, keeping Gokudera in his peripheral vision at best. "I guess ... it's time we got back to class."  
  
"Then we really might be late for our appointment," Gokudera said. Tsuna finally looked at him, but as if he was a traitor. "We _will_! It's outside town and there might be traffic. We have to go."  
  
"I don't—!" Tsuna glanced at Shamal and hopped off the bed onto his good leg. He stumbled and Gokudera caught him by the arm, and he jerked it away.  
  
"Are you off, then?" Shamal asked, nosiness blaring in his voice as he pretended to read.  
  
"None of your business!" Gokudera snarled.  
  
They made slow progress to the front of the school, and Tsuna sat on the pavement as Gokudera called a taxi cab. Gokudera thought of calling the others, and imagined having to deal with any one of Ryohei and Lambo's noise, Yamamoto's laughter, Hibari's surliness, and incongruous second-hand smirks on Chrome's face. He looked at Tsuna, whose expression was tight and pale and futilely furious.  
  
Reborn hadn't said they all needed to go. He'd even accepted Yamamoto's pathetic excuse about the test. Gokudera pocketed his phone.  
  
He and Tsuna sat at opposite ends of the cab's back seat, Gokudera staring at his knuckles and waiting for the least cue.  
  
"We're going to be really freaking early," Tsuna muttered, and that was the conversation for the trip.

o - o - o

Gokudera had emailed Reborn for directions to the mansion and had received them with no extra comments, such as why he'd need to ask when Tsuna had already been informed. Maybe he'd guessed his student's mood. He knew Tsuna like no one else, and Gokudera wished he were here.  
  
"You're _sure_ this is the way?" the driver asked for the third time, peering at the garden that lined the long driveway. Gokudera had a general impression of short grass and tall hedges, and a really clear impression that the driver needed to shut up.  
  
"We're going to see our rich uncle, all right? Keep going!"  
  
Finally the cab stopped, the driver gawking. "This place is huge!"  
  
"It'll do," said Gokudera.  
  
It was like the castle, was his first thought, but that was a trick played by old memories. This building looked newer and was more compact, and there were even more turrets than the castle he'd grown up in. The next comparison he remembered was the Vongola mansion proper in Italy, and how he'd looked at it and wondered what he'd have to accomplish to deserve a place there - but this mansion hardly looked like that stately, old, weathered house either. Four storeys high and built to look impressive, creamy walls offset with dark tiles and gleaming woods. It would definitely do.  
  
Tsuna didn't see that yet. Instead of looking at the mansion, he was watching an old man striding towards them. The guy looked like the uptight, buttoned-up type to yell about getting off the property, and Gokudera set a sneer on his face and rubbed his Vongola ring. The sneer fell as the man reached them and creaked elegantly into a bow.  
  
"Vongola Tenth. My humble greetings to you and your Storm Guardian."  
  
"Uh - I, I-" Tsuna stared at him but didn't outright deny his title, and Gokudera felt a lurch of hope in his chest.  
  
"I am the head of the household staff. I'm afraid that all is not ready yet; to my regret, we're running behind schedule."  
  
"No, we're early!" Tsuna mustered an apologetic grin.  
  
The head butler didn't acknowledge the admission of wrongdoing on his employer's part, which was in line with what Gokudera remembered as good behaviour for servants. "Allow me to take care of the fee," the guy said, gesturing at the cab. Gokudera caught a glimpse of a gun holster as the man's uniform jacket moved. Now that's a Mafioso's head butler!  
  
Gokudera moved to help Tsuna to the house, because once Tsuna stopped leaning on the car it looked like his ankle was tender. He was wincing.  
  
"Don't," he snapped when Gokudera came up to him, and added, "If you don't want to," like he was a little embarrassed.  
  
"Of course I want to help," he said. Tsuna started walking even more stiffly.  
  
They stopped at the entrance, two huge double doors. Only one was open - how had that old man slipped through that narrow crack? Maybe there was special training.  
  
The butler trotted up as the cab drove off slowly (the driver leaning out the window to continue gawping at the ordinary-looking high schoolers with a mansion) and bowed on the top step. He had a cellphone in hand. "Sir. That gentleman was able to give me the number of a cousin who works in a local hospital, who would help me to get a wheelchair here in no more than half an hour. Would you prefer a standard model or a motorised one?"  
  
"Wha—no, don't bother!" Tsuna looked cornered. "I don't need something like that!"  
  
"The grounds are extensive, sir, and regrettably, the order to install elevators in the building was only recently received. They've not yet been completed. A comprehensive tour will cover a lot of ground, and your injury might worsen."  
  
"It's only my ankle. Really, don't..."  
  
"If the Tenth is willing to wait a moment, some of the burlier gardeners will come and carry you through the house."  
  
"No! No thank you!" Tsuna waved his hands frantically and Gokudera glowered at the old ass-kisser. What the hell kind of idea was that? And he hadn't even straightened out of the bow, like talking to your kneecaps was so polite.  
  
"The Tenth and I would like to see this place alone."  
  
Tsuna froze and then turned away, hunching up, like he'd been doing so often around everybody else. Gokudera ignored that and the way it made his stomach turn over (thanks for the inadvertent training, Bianchi, _I guess_ ).  
  
The butler nodded. "Allow me to give you my contact details, so that you may get in touch with me as necessary." He took the phone Gokudera held out to him and typed speedily. "There are walking sticks in the umbrella stand in the foyer, Tenth, if that would be of assistance."  
  
He held the door open for them. The foyer was relatively small and there were few furnishings, none of it particularly impressive. But everything was polished and gleamed softly, radiating an impression of richness.  
  
Gokudera glanced back when Tsuna had taken a walking stick, leaving the butler watching them set off down the plush red carpet. Clearly the man had serious problems - huh, 'the burlier gardeners' - but he was efficient, and chances were that he could put up a fight. Tsuna was feeling weird, and he _had_ said...  
  
"Tenth? You're not actually, uh, going to shoot that guy?"  
  
"No!" Tsuna exclaimed, and then leaned towards him to hiss, "Of course not!" He looked around, making sure no one was nearby.  
  
Someone was. The man had backed into the corner made by a cabinet and a wall. He seemed to be shaking.  
  
Tsuna shuffled away from Gokudera. "Um, hello?"  
  
The guy threw himself full-length to the floor. "Vongola Tenth! My humble greetings! A-a-and to the Storm Guardian!"  
  
"Um. Hello," Tsuna tried, but even with more authority in his voice the guy still kept lying there. If Gokudera got a look at this idiot's face, he was so fired.  
  
"He _said_ he wasn't going to shoot anyone, so get up and quit snivelling," Gokudera said. "The Tenth always keeps his word!"  
  
"Bless your kindness, Vongola Tenth," the man yelled into the carpet, and hopped up and ran in a flurry of multicoloured fabrics. Gokudera picked one up; it was a big silk handkerchief. Damn it, he thought he'd got away from fancy hankies when he ran away from home. Were they supposed to act like useless rich brats from now on? At least it wasn't monogrammed.  
  
"The servants wear top hats?" Tsuna mumbled, looking after the guy.  
  
There was no one else in sight down either length of the hallway. "Tenth," Gokudera said, balling up and tossing the hankie, and his voice made Tsuna look as unnerved as the servant had. "About - about being boss, and those ... worries you mentioned. We don't have to be anything we don't want to be. I swear! All you have to do is protect your own interests, nothing worse."  
  
"I'm here to see the stupid house," Tsuna said, and started stumping down the hall. If not for the carpet the walking stick would have made a hell of a noise. "And then leave," trailed back to Gokudera.  
  
_You can't! You can't._ They wouldn't let him, anyway, Reborn and the Ninth. Wasn't that exactly Tsuna's problem?  
  
_You can't._ He wouldn't, Gokudera told himself. Leaving them - or sending him, and maybe even Lambo, I-Pin, Futa and Bianchi back to their homelands - wasn't something Tsuna would do. But Gokudera remembered hundreds of times Tsuna would argue furiously with Reborn against getting involved in the dangers of the Mafia, and all those moments of panic and despair that fueled his resolutions to do better. If the despair was the truer part of it, if an _escape plan_ would have been better than to stand and fight and protect - if Tsuna really didn't want to be the boss...?  
  
Silently, Gokudera followed.

o - o - o

"Oh! Vongola Tenth! Storm Guardian!"  
  
Humble greetings, every other corner. At least the staff had been well-informed, even if they weren't all as professional as the household head and let too much of their emotions show.  
  
"They're already scared," Gokudera said in an undertone, walking as close to Tsuna as he dared. "See? There's no need to do anything more to get them in line."  
  
Tsuna stumped faster. "Is that supposed to be comforting, people being terrified just seeing me?"  
  
A man with a big industrial vacuum cleaner walked out of a room in front of them and bowed as soon as he recognised them, staying that way until they were past.  
  
"You can tell him to stop bowing. Ask. You can ask all of them to stop doing stuff like that."  
  
"They shouldn't have to in the first place." By this time Tsuna had stopped trying to go faster, since it was obvious that Gokudera was pretending to lag behind to make him feel better. "Telling them something like that doesn't make a difference," he hissed once a woman with a floor-waxer had jogged ahead of them as fast as she dared. "I'm still stuck as their boss."  
  
"It's not so bad!" That was probably the wrong thing to say, but he had to say _something_. "Having this position limits your choices, but it also gives you a lot of choices you would never have had otherwise! You can do so much with the power you'll gain!"  
  
Tsuna's mouth opened - and shut again. He stopped walking, and Gokudera forced himself not to grab Tsuna by the shoulders. Had that got through to him? He stared straight ahead, and Gokudera waited to see if it was a revelation, if things were okay now.  
  
"You two haven't changed into your costumes?" said the person Tsuna was staring at, coming closer from behind, and Gokudera jumped. He turned around with the intention of reaming the guy out until the only appropriate response was ritual suicide.  
  
He found that all he could do was yell, "Why the fuck are you wearing a clown suit?"  
  
The man stood in all his baggy-trousered, face-painted glory and said, "Take a guess, kid. _I'm a clown_. You guys are with the school drama group, right? Better hustle. We're already behind schedule, and you do not want to disappoint the head butler." He mimed a gun with one hand.  
  
They watched him go. His left shoe sprouted flowers from the heel with each step.  
  
"The Vongola mansion has a clown?" Tsuna said.  
  
"Maybe ... for Lambo and I-Pin?"  
  
They kept walking, bemused - but as people rushed past with more exclamations of 'Vongola Tenth!', Tsuna began to pretend that he could walk faster again. They really were too early, after all - everyone just kept on saying the title in surprise. Gokudera watched Tsuna as he strode away from all the shock and awe, suppressing the limp determinedly. He'd got so much stronger over the years. He could handle this. Didn't he know? Why didn't he care?  
  
There might not be an answer.  
  
Maybe this really was it. There was no way to make the situation change. Make it better. Tsuna wouldn't understand or even want to - and he'd know that Gokudera couldn't get his side of it either.  
  
"Damn it," Tsuna said softly, staring at the staircase that was the only place to go. Gokudera trailed to a halt behind him, then followed when he finally mounted the steps. Halfway up Tsuna stopped and leaned against the railings, breathing hard.  
  
They might as well go back to school, or home. But Tsuna hadn't said he wanted to leave yet. Was there at least a chance that he was curious about the place?  
  
"I'll carry you."  
  
Tsuna looked tired and the kind of annoyed that meant he was experiencing a persistent pain. "Huh?"  
  
"Or we can call those gardeners." Gokudera took his cellphone out of the pocket of his school blazer.  
  
"No! That would be weird!"  
  
"Then I'll carry you." He bent, kneeling to make it easy for Tsuna to get on his back.  
  
"This," Tsuna said, "would be kinda weird too..."  
  
"It will make the tour easier. We'd..." He growled the words. "We'd get done faster."  
  
It looked like Tsuna was scared. Not simply annoyed or uncomfortable or angry, but _scared of him_ , and that hurt enough that Gokudera flinched.  
  
"You don't have to," Tsuna said  
  
And you're not getting out of this.  
  
Tsuna ducked the glare and looked up the rest of the staircase, and then awkwardly got on his back, still holding the walking stick. Gokudera straightened, gripping the railing, and then barrelled up the stairs so there wouldn't be time for protests. Tsuna held on tighter. He caught another quiet 'weird' and blushed furiously and kept going.  
  
"It, it's going to be my whole life," Tsuna said suddenly. "I think the Ninth wanted me to go up against those yakuza gangs over the last few months so they'd know about us, not just because they were causing too much trouble. A lot of those groups hold a grudge against us after all that fighting. There are people who live right here in Japan who'd be ready to attack all of us."  
  
"You agreed that we had to stop those guys! They were harming civilians in their districts, some of them without compunction!"  
  
"Of course we had to! But it's not like every member of every group is gone away and locked up, and you know there are plenty of them who would be willing to take revenge!"  
  
"They could've attacked us before, too! They kidnapped you once already, remember? We were still kids then, and we dealt with it!"  
  
"But now they know about all of us, even Haru and Kyoko-chan, and there are groups all over the country... There's no way to get out the Mafia lifestyle anymore, and I've always wanted to."  
  
"You haven't." At another time Gokudera would have hated the obstinacy in his voice, so childish. "You fight for us and say you want to stay together."  
  
The hands on his shoulders tightened with a jerk, making him stumble on the edge of the narrow hallway carpet, and he stopped focusing solely on Tsuna and the conversation so that he could take in the surroundings. They'd come to the top of the stairs, and this part of the house wasn't as fancy as the rest - servant's wing, probably. Still not shabby, which was good; piss off the help and you got a lot of spit in the coffee.  
  
"Just let me down!" Tsuna said with a panicked whine. "There are people around, and—well, you know, those times when I say I want to, all of us to s-stay together, Gokudera, I mean it in a _normal_ way." A heavy pause. At least he knew he should feel guilty about that statement. "It ... shouldn't be forced by something like the Mafia..."  
  
"You think I'm forcing myself to stay with you?" Gokudera demanded.  
  
The Tenth went bolt upright on his back. "Let me down! I—" and then his voice became a tiny, outraged whisper, " _I am trying to have a serious conversation!_ "  
  
The girl in the samurai costume with a sword halfway down her throat wasn't exactly stopping them, but Gokudera had to admit her presence was distracting.  
  
"Just what the hell is going on?" he snarled, and the girl carefully began pulling the sword out of her mouth. "Forget it, that takes too long!" Gokudera started walking again, although if it weren't for the fact that he was carrying the Tenth, he'd have preferred to start blowing things up. "Where's the rest of the staff? Someone better clear this up!"  
  
"I'm calling Reborn!" Tsuna said, and then swore. "My phone is at school!"  
  
Gokudera fished his phone out of a pocket and handed it to Tsuna. "Reborn-san's on the contacts list. Did he really not mention this?"  
  
"I bet he knew all about it," Tsuna said darkly, the phone buttons beeping, and then he yelled, "Reborn! There are sword-swallowers and clowns and I think the top hat guy was a magician! What's going on?"  
  
Gokudera heard the squeak of a reply, and held on harder as Tsuna flailed. Sometimes he thought Tsuna's Italian blood was showing across the generations, the way he talked with his hands. "House-warming party? This isn't another weird Vongola tradition, is it?  
  
"Wha—You can't drag everybody over here! Haru has exams; you know what they're like at her school! And Yamamoto's test! Haahh, that's not even the worst thing. Reborn, I don't want them here. This inheritance thing..." His voice dropped to inaudibility - he sounded scared again.  
  
It would have been bad enough if it was because he didn't want to be boss.  
  
It was worse that it was because of the lion sauntering down the hallway.


	2. fleeing, falling

Lions were okay. Gokudera had proven he could deal with them way back when he'd just started living in Namimori. But that had been at a zoo, where they had been a fairly expected quantity - it was different to face one in surroundings like this grand mansion. Gokudera's arms were occupied holding the Tenth, the Tenth was injured, and the lion was only down the hallway and _huge_.  
  
The voice on the other end of the phone conversation squeaked. Tsuna said, "Ah! A lion-taming show too!" His voice skated up and down the scales of terror and relief. The animal's ears twitched, then its tail. "Oh, thank goodness. That's good, because one of them... Authentic? N-not tame _yet_?"  
  
The walking stick clattered to the ground. Tsuna's whole body stiffened up against Gokudera's. The lion's tail whipped the air as it padded closer.  
  
Gokudera dived into a corridor that was just ahead of them, putting them fractionally closer to the lion for a horrifying split second and making Tsuna start yelling, and yanked at the doors that lined the corridor - third left was open and he ran in and shoved it with his shoulder to slam it shut. He scoped out the area: a small platform above a stairwell. He hurried down the stairs; there was a thud from behind them that made the door shudder in its frame, and then he practically flew.  
  
"Reborn! That thing nearly - _what strip show_?" Tsuna shrieked. " _Lions_ and _strip_ \- just shut up! I don't care what they do with the python! Reborn, you invited the girls!  
  
"EDUCATIONAL?" He began to shake. "I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU ANYMORE!"  
  
He jammed the phone back into the pocket hard enough to jerk Gokudera off-balance, so it was lucky that they'd reached a closed door. Gokudera let himself fall against it, propping himself on one arm to keep Tsuna's injured leg from hitting the door.  
  
"Sorry," Tsuna said, sounding pale.  
  
"We got away... Don't hear anything..." He got back his grip on Tsuna and tried the door. "But it wouldn't hurt to get another door between us and that animal," he said with relief as the door swung open.  
  
"Reborn is insane. I can't _believe_ him," Tsuna muttered as they stepped into a large room of finished concrete. The air was cool down there, refreshing after the exertion of running and panic. The sound of the door closing and their footsteps echoed slightly, and lights on the walls and ceiling came on as they walked. "Do you think— Oh," Tsuna said. "Wow."  
  
"Ah! The household's garage," said Gokudera. A quick look around at the vehicles it contained, and he decided that this was an excellent room to help distract him after the lion incident.  
  
"What do they need so many cars for?" Tsuna said, not even hiding the impressed tone in his voice. "I wonder if we can hide in one..."  
  
Gokudera trotted deeper into the room, making the lights click on faster. "Maybe there's an armoured car, just in case." There were Lamborghinis! Three of them! He had to work at not slowing down. He'd only got a chance to joyride a Lamborghini once, and if his legs had been long enough to reach the brakes it would have been a dream... Going further, he clicked his tongue. "But what's that old heap in the corner for?"  
  
"Is that ... a Rolls Royce, or something? It looks like it came straight out of a movie," Tsuna said, even more impressed than before.  
  
So that was another way he felt like Gokudera was wrong. He ducked his head and felt like an asshole - and they were only talking about cars, it wasn't even important.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"What? Where? I've got dynamite!"  
  
"No, it's okay! It's not the lion..." Tsuna sounded embarrassed. "It's ... um, over there." He pointed to a corner of the garage. "I wouldn't have thought a guy like the household head would like motorbikes."  
  
Gokudera sighed in relief. "It's his job to make sure we have what we need - vehicles that suit any terrain and occasion. Everything looks like it's in good condition, too." Almost a pity. He could do with someone else to be pissed at.  
  
"What _we_ need?" Tsuna squeaked, startling him. "They're for us? Wait, are ... _all of these_ for us?"  
  
Gokudera tried to glance up and back to see his face, but couldn't quite. "Of course."  
  
"Are you crazy? What are we supposed to do with this? It's way too much! And..."  
  
Their presence triggered the lights at the furthest end of the garage. Tsuna's voice died away at what was revealed.  
  
"Ha! Amazing!" Gokudera crowed, jogging to the helicopter. It wasn't that big, and when he stretched onto his toes he could make out a seat, maybe two, and an array of controls.  
  
"Reborn said I had a year," Tsuna said, distantly. "Threw a manual about piloting helicopters at me, and said I had a year. I thought he was being a jerk..." He clutched Gokudera's shoulders with each fingertip digging in. "I can't even ride the motorbikes! Sometimes I still fall off _normal_ bikes!"  
  
"That's all right, you have a year to learn!"  
  
"Oh yeah?" His pitch was up a tone. "And for the freaking helicopter?"  
  
"That too!"  
  
"I can't... That's _impossible_..." Then Tsuna laughed, shaky and startled. Maybe it would be best to distract him from yet another impossible task.  
  
"There's another door over there! We could get out if it's not another section of the garage." Gokudera hefted the Tenth into a more secure position, embracing the weight as impromptu training, and strode across the room.  
  
He felt Tsuna shift around as he looked about - which was pretty unlike him and the way he tried not to cause trouble; Tsuna was the kind of person to be relatively docile while injured and being carried.  
  
"I've never been in one..." Tsuna said in an undertone, like he almost wanted to keep it secret.  
  
"A helicopter?" Gokudera said neutrally.  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
"We can get a pilot!" Neutrality went out the window. Tsuna was interested! In something about his inheritance - about something that was part of the Mafia! "Remember, Reborn-san said you'd be in charge of the mansion's bank account in the first briefing he gave us. We can hire somebody until we can fly it ourselves!"  
  
"It can't be just for us. I can't believe - no, no way," said Tsuna, but it wasn't true denial. He didn't sound mad, not at all, but surprised and underneath it really interested, and intense relief thickened in Gokudera's throat. He swallowed hard as he turned the doorknob to what he though was an exit.  
  
This door led to a hallway in a lower floor, plain cream-coloured wall on one side and wide windows showing the hillside view on the other side. "Can I see Reborn-san's helicopter manual?" Gokudera asked as he walked.  
  
"No! We should ... I mean, if we do get to use it ... like you said, we can find a pilot. Right? It would be safer."  
  
"Probably," Gokudera said, planning a distraction involving Lambo and grenades so that he could temporarily and with all due respect steal the book from Tsuna's room. "That butler should know! Someone like that ought to know about everything related to the estate, or would find out about it quickly if we asked. Where would you like to go?"  
  
"Oh... I don't even know. But..." There were possibilities in that trailing-off. Tsuna was looking forward to the idea of making that flight; he was making plans. Maybe with the motorbikes and the cars, too.  
  
He could make Tsuna get it. He could help him understand that feeling of possible inevitable greatness, the plans they could make, what they could do, what they would be, what they _had to_ be. That was the key.  
  
He could still help. He could still have Tsuna like him, require him, and even just hug him the fuck back. This whole situation was a temporary setback, and oh, God, soon, please, he'd have their shared silences back, and Tsuna accepting closeness because of wishing to do so instead of due to needing assistance.  
  
He went faster so Tsuna's grip on him would tighten, and burst into the room at the end of the corridor with hope making him grin.  
  
An indoor pool - and the pool was enormous, with a slide at one end. " _Wow_!" Tsuna said with summer days in his voice, "do you think it's Olympic-sized?"  
  
Then there was a splash at the far end. "Oh fuck, Tenth, now it's tigers—"  
  
"These ones are tame!" called the handler, but they were already slamming another door.  
  
"What the hell! What the hell! Cats aren't even supposed to like water!" Tsuna moaned, clutching at Gokudera's front and just missing bending the glasses in a pocket.  
  
Gokudera tugged his blazer so they were out of reach and said, "Actually, tigers are one member of the feline family that love swimming. Do you see anything else around? There's dynamite in my shoulder holster!"  
  
Tsuna groaned. "Reborn and absolutely all his plans are still nuts, even if those ones were tame." They both took in the surroundings - mercifully empty of carnivores - and then Tsuna let out a shaky laugh. "Hey, let me down. Then I'll be able to help if there's anything else."  
  
"No way! What if we need to make another fast getaway?" And he couldn't let go until he had a chance to make Tsuna see reason. "Where to next, Tenth?"  
  
"Come on, Gokudera..."  
  
"As soon as we can be sure we're safe! I think we still need distance." He cast around for a distraction. They stood in another unfamiliar corridor, which looked like it had been decorated by everybody's grandmother, in pale green and flower patterns and too many ornaments arranged on little, low tables. Some seemed to be miniature portraits of past Vongola bosses, but he didn't look closely. Boring! To the left was a corridor and to the right was a door. A room meant something solid to put between them and danger, so Gokudera went right.  
  
The smell of earth in the greenhouse hit first, and then the pressure of the humid air once the door was shut.  
  
"So many plants..." Tsuna murmured after a moment, probably scanning the large room the same as Gokudera. "I bet Haru would like all those roses," Tsuna said. "Bianchi too. And then she'd probably look through the rest of the place to see if there's anything poisonous..."  
  
"Tenth," Gokudera protested. At least that gave him another jolt of adrenaline to keep going on. "But - even if the worst should come to pass with my sister - isn't it beautiful here!"  
  
Tsuna didn't respond, the quiet falling flatly for a moment, but Gokudera rallied. "Chrome will like it too! Unless it's not wild-looking enough for her, but it is somewhat like those garden illusions she's into. Ugh, and goddamn Mukuro, of course. I bet there are going to be lotus flowers all over the place the minute they step through the door."  
  
Tsuna made a sound between a laugh and a groan as he agreed. It was the light-hearted kind of sound that he'd normally give. _They'd miss you too, those inconsistent assholes, even them. And you'd miss them, you know it!_  
  
Tsuna had mentioned the safety of the others as a concern, before, and now he was thinking of how they might be pleased with this place. He wasn't abandoning them after all, of course not, not even someone like Haru, who it would be easy to send off into her former, peaceful life! He'd been a normal kid for a long time, hadn't he? His training had started shortly after Federico's death and shortly before Gokudera arrived in Japan. This life wasn't something he'd chosen, and his birth to it had been by way of distant ancestry. Even his father's high status hadn't prepared him for his opportunity at ascension, when he'd thought for years that the man had died or left their family behind...  
  
"Nothing in this house is like what I'm used to," Tsuna said. "It's..."  
  
"It's what?" Gokudera said, startled by how the Tenth's words echoed his own thoughts.  
  
"I don't even know what to think anymore." He sounded torn up with it, almost tearful and yet still with happiness in there. "And we haven't even seen all of it!"  
  
"We can go further. But hey, we ought to come back here for the strawberries sometime," Gokudera muttered, jerking a thumb at the familiar mat of leaves in the section of the greenhouse they were passing, and Tsuna made a small enthusiastic noise. _That's the boss I know. I'm getting him back. This is working!_  
  
Gokudera wrenched open the first door they came across. It led into a nondescript chamber with a few more doors leading from it marked with layout signs he didn't know (yet), and he barrelled through one at random.  
  
"Another entrance room," Tsuna said as they stood by the window, holding the heavy velvet curtain aside to look over the driveway and parking area outside. "But it's so fancy in here."  
  
"Maybe this one's for guests you have to suck up to," Gokudera said, and added, "You'll have to get your portrait done." The paintings on the walls were clearly the Vongola bosses this time, and were nowhere near miniature. It was weird to see the young Ninth in his painting; he suited his present-day grandpa look really well. "But that's boring!"  
  
"Jeez! Gokudera--" Tsuna yelped as Gokudera turned sharply to run for another door. He burst into a ballroom before slowing down for Tsuna's sake.  
  
Another impressed exclamation from Tsuna echoed off dimmed golden walls. "Hey, look up - there are so many chandeliers. This place is unbelievable! I feel like I should wear a suit just to be allowed in here. It makes me think of the movies even more than that Rolls Royce."  
  
Gokudera spared a long glance for the small stage in the room. "That's where musicians would sit," he said, nodding towards it. "The set-up looks decent - the acoustics are probably good." Was there a baby grand somewhere in the mansion? Hell, why cut corners, there was probably a grand piano.  
  
"You think so? I guess it would be, after how impressive everything else has been. And maybe there's a piano somewhere that you could play, if you ever felt like it..."  
  
"Was just thinking that," Gokudera muttered, heart bouncing off his ribs with the fact that the Tenth was willing to be thoughtful and generous towards him again; that things might really be better between them. "You like it?"  
  
"Well, look at it! This is all amazing," he half-complained. "Everything here is amazing!"  
  
"Where to next, Tenth?" Gokudera took a step, any old way, and stood jigging on the spot.  
  
"Let's just go!" He could hear that Tsuna was grinning. It could be leftover adrenaline, but maybe he was just happy again. "I can't even guess what else is in this place."  
  
Gokudera steeled himself to broach the real issue. "This is what I meant. About having many choices in this lifestyle, about all the stuff I said before." He swallowed hard. "We can go anywhere! We can do anything!"  
  
"Anyway, we can try," said Tsuna, sounding surprised at himself.  
  
"That's right, Tenth! Where do you want to go?"  
  
"Everywhere!"  
  
They laughed harder than the answer deserved as Gokudera began to run. When they went up another staircase Tsuna started saying 'ow' between laughing, and Gokudera slowed. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Maybe I'm feverish or something," he muttered.  
  
"Tenth! Is your wound infected? I can run - drive! _fly!_ \- to the hospital—"  
  
"I was kidding!" One arm loosened its grip, and Tsuna's hand stroked Gokudera's hair in a soothing gesture. He nearly shook the touch off in surprise.  
  
"I just feel..." He took a deep breath. "Everything's going to be okay."  
  
"Better," Gokudera swore.  
  
"I _believe_ you," Tsuna said, deriding himself and awed at once. Gokudera tightened his grip on Tsuna and stopped dead.  
  
"Hey, Gokudera?"  
  
They were friends. He knew it right at this moment, and that he no longer had to entertain doubts that he didn't have the hang of it yet. Now he knew this was the relationship that Tsuna had said he wanted them to have, on that night years ago when Gokudera had almost left Japan on the Ninth's orders. Easy and understanding, the two of them able to fight and to get past it, and to help each other no matter what. It was stupid to want something else all of a sudden. It was stupid to want this closeness to mean something else, to want to be able to have Tsuna whisper to him all the time.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
Gokudera swallowed, unable to reply.  
  
"Let's sit down. Sorry! You've carried me such a long way! I meant to get down sooner! It looks like it's safe now, after all." Tsuna shifted and Gokudera hastily began moving so he could help. He ended up with his hands on Tsuna's arms to steady him at the same instant he realised that they'd been all over his thighs, his hips.  
  
Gokudera strangled a screech and jerked his hands up to ear-level - and then he gave up and sank down on a step. He pulled out his cigarette pack and plugged a handful of them in his mouth to keep himself from saying anything.  
  
"Was it really that bad?" Tsuna asked, startled, and sat down right next to him.  
  
"No, Tenth!" Gokudera shook his head, voice muffled through the cigarettes.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"It's not that."  
  
They were silent, and Tsuna pulled a face. He wanted a real answer.  
  
"Sorry," Gokudera said. "Nothing's wrong." He risked a sideways glance at Tsuna and got stuck.  
  
"What? Why are you smiling like that?" Tsuna asked, starting to grin back. No surprise - he must look ridiculous. Something else that was ridiculous was how aware he was that their knees happened to be touching. Tsuna didn't mind him this close; his mood looked like it was good enough that maybe he _liked_ it again, and how much closer would be all right? Gokudera wasn't scared of finding out, and that was beyond stupid.  
  
"Feels like ... I can do anything."  
  
Tsuna nodded. "It's been a weird afternoon."  
  
Their voices were quiet and low, just for each other.  
  
"It's a great place, huh?" Tsuna said, looking down the sweep of the staircase, and drew his uninjured leg close to his chest to rest his arms and chin on it.  
  
"All yours," Gokudera said proudly. He started stubbing out the cigarettes on the box, one by one, and putting them away.  
  
"And yours. The Vongola's. I guess." He frowned even though he kept smiling. "If I have to have it... It's really not all that bad."  
  
_Ours_ , Gokudera thought, and thought of the casual, immediate way Tsuna had made that point. His leg shifted to press a little more against Tsuna's, for a second, a gesture that ought to be all right now that he couldn't hold on to him anymore. Well, maybe they could still... No, probably not. Even though it had helped Tsuna to feel those reassuring touches, it wasn't wise to do it again.  
  
"It's not all bad. Like this," Tsuna said. "For the rest of my life." He made an odd groaning sound and slumped sideways, putting an arm around Gokudera's shoulders and leaning over to rest against him. Because, of course, _he_ didn't know it wasn't okay anymore.  
  
Gokudera's heart rate sped, and then he berated himself because this wasn't out of the ordinary. This had nothing to do with the sudden hollow of wanting inside him that made him feel like holding on. Like he would if they were alone on the roof, so Tsuna was tucked against him closely enough to feel breath and peace. Tsuna was still free to like it even if now it made Gokudera want to run.  
  
"Exactly, Tenth. Not all bad," Gokudera whispered. Good thing they were being quiet, because his throat was too tight to let him speak any louder. He squeezed his eyes shut, then got up as he opened them. "But ... but we should get going."  
  
Tsuna looked hurriedly at him. (Those big, beautiful eyes...) "I think it's all right to sit like this for a while..."  
  
"There's the house-warming party!" Gokudera stood and brushed off his trousers, though the staff had to be excellent because there was no dust. "We'd better get moving."  
  
Tsuna was still, fingers clenched on a step. Cheeks red. It was awful to bear, and yet Gokudera couldn't possibly excuse himself and leave that face behind. "All those people did put in a lot of effort," Tsuna said. "Okay."  
  
Gokudera stepped back and watched him push to his feet. It took a big-eyed look of surprise from Tsuna, and what looked like the start of worry, before Gokudera dragged himself closer to help.  
  
His stomach churned. It was going to be like this from now on - second-guessing himself around Tsuna, trying hard not to be obvious about what he wanted, ruining what he had. He gave a big reassuring grin and backed away once Tsuna was up.  
  
"You don't have to worry," Tsuna said, hobble-hopping up the stairs.  
  
"I'm not worried! I just won't let you fall!" said Gokudera at a respectful distance behind him, but with his arms held out and at the ready to catch.  
  
"Okay." Tsuna looked fixedly downwards. "Are you angry?"  
  
"No!" He had been, and he really wanted to apologise. He ought to. He couldn't. "I was, a little, but that was before! Now you seem ... fine again, so there's no more reason to fight."  
  
"Maybe you should be. Angry at me."  
  
"No." _Why were you scared of me? Why wouldn't you listen? Would you really leave?_ Gokudera took a chance and reached forwards to squeeze Tsuna's shoulder. "Not now." He fell back again; he wouldn't ruin this.  
  
A quick glance over his shoulder and then Tsuna turned back to looking at the ground. "You really don't have to worry," he said. "About me falling..." A deep breath. "Or about anything you're thinking ... about us. You know what I mean, right?" He gave Gokudera a look furtive with embarrassment. Did he know? Of course not, he didn't know what Gokudera had been thinking, he absolutely couldn't. Shit, the Vongola intuition!  
  
"When we were sitting back there," Tsuna said, reddening.  
  
"I wasn't thinking anything!"  
  
"Gokudera..." He glanced back and seemed to surprise himself by smiling. "Don't worry, I mean it."  
  
Then he went quiet. No more clues as to what he'd been talking about, so Gokudera couldn't figure if he really did know, about this feeling so stupid and sudden and always there.  
  
"I'm sorry," Tsuna said, and stopped walking. "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, at school. I was picking a fight. That wasn't the way to talk about any of it! I'm sorry."  
  
He felt watery with the relief. Proud too, that his leader and friend could apologise and humble himself with such open sincerity. "It's all right, Tenth. As long as, well, now it's all right!" Gokudera sniffed, swiped a sleeve over his face.  
  
"Gokudera ... I really am sorry, but also..." Tsuna smiled, a little bit. "When we were sitting just now..." He limped over, looking at the stairs as he carefully placed his feet to avoid aggravating his ankle. His eyes continued to be aimed downwards when he stopped in front of Gokudera. Was he embarrassed? Who wouldn't be after finding out something like this - a friend taking his emotions for you too far? Gokudera took a step down to put distance between them, shaky misery rising within him.  
  
The step down put them at equal height to each other. Tsuna met his eyes, and yeah, he was embarrassed, but he was also beaming. "Good idea. Thanks," he whispered awkwardly, and gripped the railing so that he could lean forward and press his mouth to Gokudera's.  
  
With this little happy _sound_.  
  
Noise roared in Gokudera's ears like there was a tornado coming out of them. He fell back, only dimly suspecting that he was moving as his feet slipped off the step and the ceiling started moving in an arc before his half-seeing eyes.  
  
"Wha- _hey no_ -GOKUDERA!" The Tenth's voice increased in volume at what could well be a neat exponential rate going per word, and he grabbed Gokudera's wrist and hauled him out of making a dive down the long staircase.  
  
They both fell anyway, bumping a few steps down into a heap. "Whoa! Are you okay?" Tsuna looked scared half to death, panting for breath. He waved a hand in front of Gokudera's face, the other closed around his wrist. "Gokudera!"  
  
It was never 'Gokudera-kun' anymore. Huh. Hadn't been for a while.  
  
"Didn't mean to surprise you that much," Tsuna said, and then slowly started looking like he'd realised what he'd said, and what he'd done. He looked pleased even as he turned his head away to hide his face. "It's just that it's been months, so I thought..." He trailed off like the rest of that sentence should be obvious.  
  
"What the hell?" Gokudera asked of the universe at large.  
  
Tsuna was smiling too much to even give him an odd look, despite having a lot of practice with those. "Not exactly that," he said as Gokudera started unfolding out of the heap they made. "It just seemed like it was about time." His breath was starting to come shorter, probably because Gokudera was sitting up and couldn't stop staring at him. "So ... so why not," he said as Gokudera leaned closer to him, and he leaned in too.  
  
There were a lot of reasons why not. Gokudera couldn't begin to care. Tsuna's mouth opened against his.


End file.
